6-21-09

It has been a week since the funeral. We are going to post a reflection of the funeral services as well as copies of some of the talks, for the many people who have asked about them. But then we will discontinue this blog in honor of our sweet mother and wife.

This is Ron
I felt that Jolene’s funeral was exactly the way Jolene had envisioned it so many weeks ago when she planned it. She wanted it to be simple, not too long, and full of good memories. There were fun moments that made us laugh. There were quiet moments that made us reflect. There were grateful moments that made us cry and appreciate Jolene’s life and her influence in our lives.

I appreciated all of the incredible support and love shown to us through attendance at the viewing or funeral, through cards, letters, flowers and monetary donations that we will use to pay for Jolene’s headstone. I wish I could send everyone thank you cards, but many were given to us without addresses, and in some cases anonymously. I do appreciate all gestures of sympathy.

I would especially like to thank those who participated in the funeral: Tony Heywood, Jolene’s favorite brother, (she loves them all), for the family prayer before the service. Joe Wilcock for the lovely song, The Bishop of our ward, Tom Warne for conducting and expressing such hope in his message. Jolene’s two brothers Larry and Dave Heywood for portraying Jolene’s life so eloquently, and for “staying on time” with their comments. All of Jolene’s nieces and nephews, for bringing tears to my eyes with their song. My brother Greg Davidson for his words about “loving first.” The Hansen Family song. We love the Hansens. The opening and closing prayers Jolene’s brother Tim Heywood and my brother Randal Davidson. My Sister Trisa Teerlink for being the chorister and Naoma Eastley for playing the organ. I can’t say enough about our ward members who helped with luncheon and dinners throughout this trial.

I know how hard it is to participate at such a somber occasion and keep your emotions in check. I feel they did a wonderful job. While she was planning the funeral Jolene asked me if I wanted to speak. I told her I would if she absolutely wanted me to, but I would prefer to sit on the front row with my girls and cry my eyes out. That is just what I did. I appreciated my best friend Lance Capener and his wife Nancy sitting right next to us during the funeral. Lance was my best man at our wedding 26 years ago, and it was important to me that he be next to me again as we laid my precious wife to rest.

The flower arrangement on her casket was a gift from her good friends at Skyline High. It was perfect. Ruth Dallas was so kind to make those arrangements for us. The good people at Mountain View Memorial were so kind to give us all the time we needed to say goodbye. I don’t want to miss thanking anyone, but I’m afraid with all of my attentions focused on Jolene, I’m sure there were many acts of kindness I didn’t even notice. I’m sure those of you who helped in anyway wanted it that way.

I would like to thank Jolene’s parents Evans and Sylvia Heywood for being with us during Jolene’s last days and staying with us through this past week. They have been away from their home for almost twenty days with out complaint. I know it wasn’t easy for them. They have taken care of us in ways that can’t be measured. I will never forget the way Jolene’s eyes brightened up when they arrived.

I would also like to mention my own mother who came almost every day since March to rub healing oils on Jolene’s feet and head. We don’t know that it helped medically, but Jolene loved mom’s soft loving hands and appreciated her incredible devotion. Mom never gave up hope, and we were both uplifted by her visits.